Welcome to Kelgurk!!
So happy to have you!
Who doesn't love an origin story!? Let's recap how exactly we got here...
I initially started blogging sporadically when I moved to New York City in the fall of 2017. I didn’t really have any goals for the endeavor, no type of curation system, but just thought it would be a fun way to pass the time as I settled myself in a new town, a new chapter, a new life. I quickly dropped into the rat race of the city grind, working half a dozen jobs, struggling to make rent, and eventually the months passed by in a blur and my writing got put on the back-burner time and time again.
At the beginning of 2019, I resurrected the hobby, set a plan to be more intentional about my content and posting schedule, adopted some series that I was really excited about, but then landed my dream job of working in advertising on Broadway, which was equal parts fulfilling and demanding, leaving me without much to pour into this other medium.
This dream job was one that I felt like I had really paid my dues to be at. It felt like all the struggle and strife of living in the city for the previous two years had been worth this role, this moment, this part in it all. I was able to work there for about nine exciting, intense, rewarding months, and then the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
At first when I was sentenced to work from home indefinitely, I thought I’d escape the bleak tail end of New York City winter and go home for a couple weeks. Well, as with so many others in my boat, a couple weeks turned into a few months, and I eventually could no longer afford to keep my apartment without a clear date of return on the horizon. I downsized about 70% of my belongings and returned to Florida to live with my family. A week after I made that move, I was formally laid off from my job.
I think a lot about the situational irony of my belongings being shipped from New York to Florida and my work computer and ID badge getting shipped from Florida to our office in New York - possessions being relocated, passing like ships in the night. It’s such a symbol of the ever-changing uproot that has taken place during this devastating time.
As a person who feels security in the solidified, it’s given me a lot of anxiety to not be tethered to anything or anyone or anyplace at this time. I’m trying to train myself to not be fearful of the open-ended abyss that lies ahead, but instead excited by the enormity of the possible. It’s a tough time...for all of us, really. I think of all that I’ve lost, and want to be upset, but I immediately temper that with the perspective of those who have lost so much more than me in 2020.
People have started asking casual questions of “what’s next?” If I’ll start looking for jobs in Florida, when I’ll be going back to New York, IF I’ll go back to New York - and the truth is, for the first time in my entire life, I have absolutely no idea what comes next. I feel like I need to see where the dust settles in order to make any type of move, conceive any type of plan, feel any sort of push or pull - and as we all know, the dust hasn’t settled in seven months, and likely won’t for a long while.
So, here I am in the interim - in my pepto bismol pink childhood bedroom - trying daily to cling to the things that make me happy, that make me feel grounded, that make me feel a little more in control of the broken pieces and tattered edges that my life seems to be made up of these days.
Enter this blog. :)
In times of great fluctuation, the overwhelming unknown, and suffocating uncertainty, I think it’s vital that we unapologetically cling to the things that bring us joy. For me, that’ll look like introspective essays, plus-size fashion, interior design, collaboration and interviews, charcuterie boards, holiday decor, and anything else I choose to share in this massive chasm of time, stillness, and abnormalcy.
In this virtual space, there is no action needed or expectation, no sense of obligation or urgency, no fuss over efficiency or production, no doing - just being, just fun, just joy. Through depth and frivolity alike, with great preparation or content made on a whim, this is a place of encouragement and inspiration, in a time where such commodities feel incredibly scarce.
That’s my mission for this blog - that, in the midst of a pandemic and beyond, it will serve as a place where creativity, connection, and compassion run rampant.
I'm so glad you are here - please, make yourself at home!